Someday, somewhere, somehow..

August 29, 2018

My dreams of us together will come true.

I don’t know how just yet, but nothing can keep that energy, that type of love apart.

She left the physical realm on April 29, 2018.

Her spirit lit the room as it ascended.

I huddled over her body. Praying for a miracle, trying to collect my thoughts and cells to somehow transmute whatever energies I could muster to bring forth Gods hands through mine.

Electric life.

I held on to the thought that bolts of lightning were going to shoot out of my fingertips and bring her back to life.

I can feel her take her last breath.

My heart breaks

Her family and I collectively cried.

We held each other close and rode the tides.

I grabbed the 20lb crystal I had on your bed and went outside.

I held you up to the moon. The pink moon.

Tears streaming down my face.

John Cusac, Say Anything. 

 

 

For a moment the clouds parted and you showed yourself. 

 

Your transition has begun.

 

For months I’ve mourned, celebrated, mourned, celebrated. Struggled. Today, right now, marks Four months since you’ve been gone,

 

Still searching for what I don’t know. Will never know, never understand.

 

I found it all in her.

 

She was the light. My light. 

 

And I almost turned it off.

 

I wouldn’t change it for the world, 100 times over just to love you harder. It was magic. 

 

You were magic.

 

And now it’s gone, all apart of the same song.

 

Who knows what, nothing is true 

 

Until you find yourself floating in the blue

 

A spark ignites, the one to stay alive

 

You saw it in her, she held it in her eyes

 

And like a soft breeze blowing feels like her fingers combing through your hair.

 

Hummingbirds, dragonflies, butterflies everywhere.

 

Rainbows, lights beams, the signs are here

 

You’re all around, no doubt, it’s clear.

 

I honor you the only way I know how.

To keep on fighting for here and now.

 

There is no future, there is no past. Just memories and thoughts to make us cry & laugh.

 

What you do is totally up to you,

How you live your life is all on how you choose.

 

I chose to love her with all my heart 

And was blessed to live the most brilliant love story, till death do us part.

 

 

 

My fearless warrior princess. 

 

The world should know of your beauty and courage, in the face of it all you chose love over fear, you chose me and I chose you. We chose this moment to burn bright and our love will forever serve as a beacon for the universe to rest it’s head upon as a token of true love.

 

In my darkest days I turn to you to lift me up.

 

I will make you proud my love.

 

As long as I am blessed with breath I will breathe

 

As long as I am blessed with sight I will see

 

As long as I am blessed with hearing, I will listen

 

As long as I am blessed with touch, I will feel

 

As long as I am blessed with life, I will live

 

For you, for me. 

 

 

 

To the world,

 

I send an abundance of love and healing vibrations to each and every person out there who has ever felt loss and suffrage. 

 

I wish upon no one my experience. To lose the one you love and to watch her being slowly taken from you is a pain no one on earth should have to endure.

 

But though this experience I have seen.

 

Light.

 

A blessing no matter what. 

 

I am blessed to experience her.

I am blessed to have experienced her gifts.

I am blessed to have witnessed her greatness.

 

My angel on earth now in heaven.

 

That is what I cherish most.

 

Forever and ever.

 

Keep believing. Keep dreaming. 

The pains and traumas you’re experiencing or have experienced are for your growth, no matter how bad it was or is, we must believe it will get better.

 

 

I love you.

 

 

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