Only Time Will Tell

February 26, 2019

Maria,

Maybe there’s a way back to you. 


I’ve said your name 8 billion times since you’ve left, called it to the heavens, whispered to myself hopping to hear your voice in return

I haven’t stopped thinking about you and how much longer this all is going to take.

Something’s gotta give. I can feel it.

The levee has broken.

I’ve cried oceans.

I cry oceans.

I sometimes get the feeling that I’m doing you a disservice by holding on so tight, but it’s so hard to let go.

We had it all.

I had you. I finally found you.

We did it babe.

We found each other.

Billions of stars and our collided.

You lit me up my love.

I feel lost.

I try to stay positive

But Smokey said it best (two times)

Like the tears of a clown when there’s no one around, take a good look at my face as my smile is out of place and if you look closer it’s easy to trace.. the tracks of my tears

I need you


I pray my selfishness isn’t holding you here to this place.

I want you to be free my love.

You deserve Gods love.

You deserve to be held in the most loving space in his heart.

I imagine you wrapped in love, fabrics made of stings of light delicately lay upon your body.

Maria.

You’re beautiful.

You are the light of my world.

It’s gotten difficult to see since you’ve left.

I’m trying to stay the course my love but the waves throw me off

It’s all a matter of time

The energy never leaves

There’s got to be a way back

For the first time in my life I don’t see a future

..and that’s ok

I guess.

Only time will tell.

It will be 1 Year in 62 days.

Crazy.

It all seems like just yesterday.

It constantly replays in my mind.

All of it. Our whole time together. I haven’t stopped revisiting. It was a beautiful time in my life. It was magic. SHE was magic! IS!

So many things go through my head.

Everyday has been a balancing act.

Most of the time I want to just get away and disappear to some town where no one knows me where I don’t exist.

I used to want fame and fortune, now I just want fortune so I can comfortably sail off into some sunset somewhere towards some private little corner of the world.

One day it’s all gonna happen.

Somethings gotta give.

I pray it does.

Not for me, I already had it.
Being with Maria was my masterpiece.

For the first time ever in my life as a conscious human being I have my entire self, mind body and spirit to her.

I finally was going to get married and have kids.

She clicked the switch in my mind and I saw her vision. It became OUR vision. Her passion lit me up and I felt together we’d beat whatever was in front of us and live out the rest of our lives together in total peace and happiness, most of all, absolutely, head of heels in love with one another.

I had it all.

I’m blessed to have felt that.

So I see I pray for everyone out there who hasn’t felt that type of love.

I pray for the peace and wellbeing of everyone out there.

I pray that one day, it all makes since.

Only time will tell.

Till then know there’s nothing but love in my heart for each and every one of you, even tho I might sound a little down and out.

Whatever love I have left is for the world.

It’s all I have to give.

Peace and love forever ♾

Maybe there’s a way back to you.

I’ve said your name 8 billion times since you’ve left, called it to the heavens, whispered to myself hopping to hear your voice in return

I haven’t stopped thinking about you and how much longer this all is going to take.

Something’s gotta give. I can feel it.

The levee has broken.

I’ve cried oceans.

I cry oceans.

I sometimes get the feeling that I’m doing you a disservice by holding on so tight, but it’s so hard to let go.

We had it all.

I had you. I finally found you.

We did it babe.

We found each other.

Billions of stars and our collided.

You lit me up my love.

I feel lost.

I try to stay positive

But Smokey said it best (two times)

Like the tears of a clown when there’s no one around, take a good look at my face as my smile is out of place and if you look closer it’s easy to trace.. the tracks of my tears

I need you


I pray my selfishness isn’t holding you here to this place.

I want you to be free my love.

You deserve Gods love.

You deserve to be held in the most loving space in his heart.

I imagine you wrapped in love, fabrics made of stings of light delicately lay upon your body.

Maria.

You’re beautiful.

You are the light of my world.

It’s gotten difficult to see since you’ve left.

I’m trying to stay the course my love but the waves throw me off

It’s all a matter of time

The energy never leaves

There’s got to be a way back

For the first time in my life I don’t see a future

..and that’s ok

I guess.

Only time will tell.

It will be 1 Year in 62 days.

Crazy.

It all seems like just yesterday.

It constantly replays in my mind.

All of it. Our whole time together. I haven’t stopped revisiting. It was a beautiful time in my life. It was magic. SHE was magic! IS!

So many things go through my head.

Everyday has been a balancing act.

Most of the time I want to just get away and disappear to some town where no one knows me where I don’t exist.

I used to want fame and fortune, now I just want fortune so I can comfortably sail off into some sunset somewhere towards some private little corner of the world.

One day it’s all gonna happen.

Somethings gotta give.

I pray it does.

Not for me, I already had it.
Being with Maria was my masterpiece.

For the first time ever in my life as a conscious human being I have my entire self, mind body and spirit to her.

I finally was going to get married and have kids.

She clicked the switch in my mind and I saw her vision. It became OUR vision. Her passion lit me up and I felt together we’d beat whatever was in front of us and live out the rest of our lives together in total peace and happiness, most of all, absolutely, head of heels in love with one another.

I had it all.

I’m blessed to have felt that.

So I see I pray for everyone out there who hasn’t felt that type of love.

I pray for the peace and wellbeing of everyone out there.

I pray that one day, it all makes since.

Only time will tell.

Till then know there’s nothing but love in my heart for each and every one of you, even tho I might sound a little down and out.

Whatever love I have left is for the world.

It’s all I have to give.

Peace and love forever ♾
 

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